Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Three Little Words That Can Pack a Punch

Sure the words I LOVE YOU are three little words that roll right off the tongue , but what do they truly mean when they are said over and over and OOOOVVVEEERRR? Do they loose their value? Do they become part of your everyday ritual that they loose their meaning? When those words come out of your mouth do they seem like the are necessary just like the breath that you took to say them? Are they as easily spoken as ordering your daily coffee.......a grande Americano chai hazelnut caramel macchiato, half-caf, half decaf, one equal, one raw sugar, 2 Sweet'N'Low, skinny organic soy breve with no foam, hot a little hotter than normal, extra whip, and leave room on the top so I can add my own extras!!!! I think the three simple words I LOVE YOU become so simply brainless words that they just come out without thought.

Until you have kids and they begin to say those three little words to you.......I WUV YOU!! Oh man that pulls on a mommy's heartstrings like no other. But then as they get older they say it more often and more often and MMMMOORRREEE OFTEN. You can't help but think your child has become an amazing ventriloquist as those words come out of their mouth with little to no effort. Then they learn to use those words to their advantage when they 'WANT SOMETHING'! Then you begin to wonder if they know the true meaning of those three little but oh so powerful words, or do they just say it out of habit and out of routine and out of hearing everyone else say it? We have to instill a meaning to go along with those words.....we can't let them become habitual like changing our underwear (unless your a teenager then it becomes more of a quarterly event), or like making our bed, or like becoming a necessity like sleeping, eating or learning. Then one day out of the blue your child comes and pops up on your lap, throws their arms around you, pecks you on the check and deeply, and meaningfully spews out I LOVE YOU!!! Talk about tug on the heart.....or one day you will be having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day you know the kind of day where if anything could go wrong it does, and you are desperately trying to hide it from your children but they know. You go in your room and crawl in the closet behind all those clothes that you keep holding onto that you know you will NEVER EVER be able to fit into and start to sob uncontrollably not because the clothes won't or don't fit but because it's one of those days, and okay the whole clothes situation isn't helping, so you start to sob harder. You forgot to take tissue with you into hiding so you have to make a life or death decision to either wipe your nose on the shirt you have had since high school that clearly doesn't fit three kids and a marriage later but you can't get rid of because at one time it made your boobs look really really good, or you have to come out of hiding to get some tissue. Okay you decide its best to not use the shirt that will never get used again and come to your senses and remove yourself from your little tantrum corner and that's when you notice the little letter laying on your pillow. You see the words I LOVE written over and over and over again on these little heart shaped pieces of paper and all of a sudden you realize you cannot possibly be having a down in the dumps day. My children have all gotten into the habit (UGH there I go again making it a habit, when it should never ever be a habit) of saying those three little but oh so powerful words "I LOVE YOU" several times in a row just to make sure in case we missed the last thousand times they said it. These three little but oh so powerful words cannot be taken or said lightly.

A couple of weeks ago my husband went on a week long TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) to California, I know that sounds rough huh, yeah let's not feel sorry for him. Anyway he has been gone on several TDY's over the past few years and more times than not I welcome the little break. I kind of get a little vacation myself well minus the mom/dad duties that follow me 24/7. I tend to slack on my duties as a mother and on keeping myself presentable. I often make the kids tend to their own meals, hey in all fairness they are 15, almost 12 and almost cereal for 15 meals straight didn't seem to bother any of us. The vacuum and broom also had a little R&R, if I don't feel like getting dressed I won't and I save a weeks worth of makeup by not putting any on. During this time of separation I go back to the saying of "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I like the way the Roman poet Sextus Propertius says it "Always toward absent lovers loves tide stronger flows." This can't be any truer for our little spats of time away. I also think that it has helped us grow in our love for each other and to not take each other and the time we have together for granted. Every time my husband leaves on his TDY's and comes home, it seems like we have been apart for months. Okay it doesn't help that I am a single parent of a teenager, a tween and a 7 year old who acts like a teen during those TDY's. That could quite possibly be the reason for the length of time to feel like an eternity. Upon my husbands return we have lots of alone time, deep conversations, and we pass those three simple but powerful words I LOVE YOU back and forth like we are children and each of us has to say it last.
This time one of our conversations really struck my heartstrings and left me speechless.

The words "I love you" what do they really mean? Sure I love me a big steak and potato dinner, I love coffee, okay that's more of a need and an item of protection for my family than a love. I love the beach, and sunsets, and wine, okay another need for my families protection. I love my man in his uniform (blues really get me going), I love the smell of a freshly bathed baby, roses and chocolate. But what do we really mean when we utter those three little but oh so powerful words? I.....LOVE.....YOU....
 For some of us we long deep down inside to be able to say those words or to have those word said to us, but yet we can so easily take them for granted.
 I know I am guilty......oh so guilty from time to time. My husband on the other hand is a man who lives by these three little words and often times I just say it back because he said it to me, or I will say it because if I don't he's not going to know that I love him right? But it's the meaning behind those three little words that makes all the difference in the world. I......LOVE.....YOU

So this thought brings me back to the conversation my husband and I were having upon his return. As we were looking into each others eyes in the moment of being back together he says those three little but oh so powerful words....."I LOVE YOU." I look at him in a state of wonder and ask him "why do you tell me you love me so much?" Without taking a breath or blinking his eyes he took my face in his hands and says "because if something were to happen to you or me right now I would want the last words you heard from me to be I LOVE YOU!"
He wants the last thought, the last picture, the last words to me to be quite simply how much he loves me, but not only how much he loves me, how much I am loved. In the end he wants me to be surrounded by his love, the love of my kids, the love of my friends and family....LOVE period.
BIRDS CHIRPING...................................................................................................................................
I know I am still speechless.......How could I have missed this importance to him for all these years? How can I so simply respond to his words of love by quickly saying them in return? How could I so simply say those words he holds so close to his heart so nonchalantly like I am saying hello to the mailman? How in the world can I be burdened by hearing those three powerful but little words for the umpteenth time when all he is thinking about is having those be the last words I hear out of his mouth?


clark gilleo said...

I Love You Janea!

Lori Jorg said...

I love you my friend

Janea Gilleo said...

I love you to Lori! Thanks for being such a wonderful friend that I hold close to my heart. Thanks for reading my blog! :)

Janea Gilleo said...

I love you more babe! Thank you for inspiring me! ❤️